Scan life

 Finishing chemo isn’t the finish line you expect it to be. It’s a huge milestone, yes—but it also opens the door to a different kind of challenge: learning to live with the unknown.

Recently, we had what they call a “follow-up scan”—the kind that checks to make sure nothing has changed since the last one. The results came back: everything has stayed the same. No new growth. That’s good news. That’s positive.

Are we grateful. Truly.

But here’s the thing: now we will  live scan to scan. Every few months and wait for a machine to tell me whether we get to keep moving forward—or whether we have to start fighting again.

It’s hard to explain what that does to your mind. There’s a constant undercurrent of anxiety, even when things are going well. You become hyper-aware of your child's  body. Every ache, every headache, every strange sensation becomes a potential threat. And yet, alongside the fear, there’s hope—sometimes quiet and cautious, other times loud and defiant.

Hope has become our habit now. It’s something we practice, like breathing. We don’t always feel brave. But we do keep going.

Weve learned not to wait for perfect news to feel joy. Stability is good. Stillness is a victory. And living in the in-between, between scans and between answers, is still living.

Zack continues to be amazing, and strong! And he's a super hero in our eyes!!