Scan results 15 July 2024

Scan results 
Scan results were good positive for now, but I can't help think about the what ifs in the future, I guess that will play on my mind forever. 
I am writing this sitting by a chemo bed, it's a long chemo today which means we will be at GOSH most of the day. 
We are in a ward with other children all going through the same shit we are but yet all in very different circumstances yet all with big smiles on their faces taking it all in their stride. 
It's been a long day. Zacks chemo was hard today, he screamed from start to finish. But it wasn't just a cry it was a scream! Like he was in pain, calling for mummy, I was there but he just couldn't stop screaming! It was a hard day. I couldn't take away the pain he was feeling: I couldn't help him. The drs think he had an allergic reaction to his anti sickness, which can make you scream, go dizzy and hallucinate. Obviously he is too young to tell me how he is feeling! After about 45 of me wrestling him screaming, making sure he didn't pull out his line, he gave in and fell asleep on my lap. It was really hard to know that I couldn't do anything to help him. 
It was a tough day today! I guess I have a few more of those to come. 
Onwards and upwards. 


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